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Wednesday, December 3, 2014

The Man with the Green Arm (FF)

    
Copyright Janet Webb

If some people are said to have a green thumb, Homer Fulton had nothing less than a green arm.   He could grow any kind of plant anywhere, make flowers bloom in the winter, and even grow grapefruits in Minneapolis.

When news spread about Homer's talents, he was booked on The Today Show. As he left home for New York, plants, bushes, and flowers were growing spontaneously wherever he walked. 

"Welcome to The Today Show," said Matt Lauer, as a rose bush began sprouting from the top of his head.  "To what do you attribute your amazing power?"

"Darned if I know," replied Homer, "but I wish it would stop. I'm allergic as hell to all of it!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We'll leave Homer sneezing away in this, my weekly contribution to the Friday Fictioneers based on the picture prompt above. The other Fictioneers are also blooming with ideas, but hopefully none to make you sneeze, if you click right here.

I wonder if Matt Lauer looks better with a rose bush on his head ...

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38 comments:

  1. AnonymousDecember 3, 2014 at 12:08 PM

    Fortunately for Fictioneers with allergies, the ice in our photo prompt should stop any stray cyber pollen from tickling sensitive noses.

    Great story this week, Perry. It gave me a nice chuckle.

    All my best,
    Marie Gail

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockDecember 3, 2014 at 3:59 PM

      I didn't think of that. We need Mr. Freeze to follow Homer around. Glad you chuckled, MG.

      Delete
  2. AliciaDecember 3, 2014 at 2:14 PM

    Love the idea of the rose bush growing out of Matt Lauer's head. Fun tale this week, Perry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockDecember 3, 2014 at 4:00 PM

      I'll bet Matt Lauer likes it too. Thanks, Alicia.

      Delete
  3. brudbergDecember 3, 2014 at 4:30 PM

    I think a rose as a hair-do would be an instant success.. but I would think that the thorns would be a little bothersome at night.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockDecember 3, 2014 at 8:26 PM

      Probably true. About the only instance in which the thorns might be helpful would be if Al Roker suddenly and unexpectedly became amorous.

      Delete
  4. AnonymousDecember 3, 2014 at 5:33 PM

    A wacky take on the prompt that I thoroughly enjoyed.
    It's said that there is a fine line between a gift and a curse - that seems apt in poor Homer's case.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockDecember 3, 2014 at 8:28 PM

      That's a really good saying for this story. Maybe I'll change the title to "A
      Fine Line?" I don't have to pay you for it, do I?

      Delete
    2. AnonymousDecember 4, 2014 at 6:23 PM

      You can have that fine line for free

      Delete
    3. Perry BlockDecember 6, 2014 at 6:59 PM

      Bless you. I'll try to hand you some free stuff down the line too.

      Delete
  5. AnonymousDecember 3, 2014 at 6:17 PM

    your tales, along with Homer's flowers bloom with wild abandon. May they continue to do so :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockDecember 3, 2014 at 8:29 PM

      That's certainly encouraging for this scribe. Thank you!

      Delete
  6. DawnDecember 3, 2014 at 6:18 PM

    Murphy's Law strikes again!

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousDecember 3, 2014 at 9:09 PM

    Matt Lauer Flower Power...
    Great imagery.
    Love your zaniness, Perry.

    Randy

    ReplyDelete
  8. Rochelle Wisoff-FieldsDecember 4, 2014 at 6:51 AM

    Dear Perry,

    Now I'm stuck with this mental image of a bush growing out of Matt Lauer's head. I'll never see him quite the same way. Thank you for that.

    Truly one of your funniest.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockDecember 6, 2014 at 6:50 PM

      Thanks, Rochelle. I'm going to start modeling one of those rose bushes myself sometime soon. You'll never see me quite the same way either.

      Delete
  9. Douglas MacIlroyDecember 4, 2014 at 6:51 AM

    Dear Perry,

    You got me with the rose bush... Still laughing (and sneezing) here. Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockDecember 6, 2014 at 6:51 PM

      I hope you're not really sneezing. I didn't mean for Homer to be THAT powerful!

      Delete
  10. Dawn Q.December 4, 2014 at 4:49 PM

    I love the playful tone of this one. It as like the opening of a wonderful story, and I wanted it to continue! Nice job, Perry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockDecember 6, 2014 at 6:52 PM

      Thanks, Dawn, but I think I was at the end of its wonderfulness.There would have been a precipitious decline in wonderfulness by the time Al Roker starting growing stuff.

      Delete
  11. AnonymousDecember 5, 2014 at 3:15 AM

    Dear Perry, I bet the Today Show cut to a sinus congestion commercial, one of their sponsors, I'm sure. Matt Lauer with a rose bush head. Wow - that would be something - then all he would need is a drink in his hand and sitting on the beach - maybe some dangling earrings too. Love your story! Nan :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockDecember 6, 2014 at 6:55 PM

      I think I'm going to have you write the second half to all my stories from now on, Nan. Great job!

      Delete
  12. UnknownDecember 5, 2014 at 10:25 AM

    Lovely. Someone should give him some weedkiller for Xmas. And a pair of secateurs.

    ReplyDelete
  13. RussellDecember 5, 2014 at 12:11 PM

    Homer puts Rogaine to shame. I can't wait for the infomercials to start. I predict this will be more popular than Chia pets. Do you think he's related to the Jolly Green Giant?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockDecember 6, 2014 at 7:02 PM

      I hadn't thought about that. I've got to bottle Homer and rub him on my head. I'll just have to clip the thorns like I do toenails, and there's roses for all the ladies!

      Delete
  14. AnonymousDecember 5, 2014 at 9:07 PM

    I think Matt could use a rose bush on his head. Sure! Such a fun take, Perry. I didn't sneeze once.

    ReplyDelete
  15. glynis rankinDecember 6, 2014 at 12:48 AM

    This was just wonderful! Thanks so much for sharing, it made me laugh on a day I needed to smile.

    ReplyDelete
  16. liz youngDecember 6, 2014 at 12:07 PM

    Thought I'd commented but it's vanished! I said I wondered how you manage a winner every time :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockDecember 6, 2014 at 7:04 PM

      How do I manage a winner every time? You can't be reading the non-Friday Fictioneer posts to say that! But thanks anyway!

      Delete
  17. P.S. JoshiDecember 8, 2014 at 3:02 AM

    Perry, Homer and Matt's rosebush beats chias all to heck. Another hilarious story. :) :) Well written as always. :) --- Susan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockDecember 9, 2014 at 12:08 AM

      Thank you, Susan. Now I know what to get you for the holiday. A M-m-m-m-m-att!

      Delete
  18. margireneDecember 8, 2014 at 6:28 PM

    Wonderfully funny. It's a little like the King Midas syndrome, although Homer didn't bring it on himself. I really like this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockDecember 9, 2014 at 12:10 AM

      Yeah, I guess it is like that. If I had my choice I'd go for the gold, as long as I had someone like Homer to feed me. Thanks for writing!

      Delete