Sunrise, settling back, coffee and muffin in hand. Opening up the newspaper. Nothing like a morning flight.
Then I heard the short snapping sound and men were walking through the cabin.
"Okay, everyone: Out now into the buses. You'll be in Philadelphia in six or seven hours, you'll awake there, and remember nothing."
Only this time I did remember. Every word.
"Charge 'em for airplanes, pay for buses, we make a bundle!" said one man.
"Good thing no one ever expects the .... aeroplanes! .... to be on time."
"Air travel, ha!" laughed the other. "Why, humankind is still 200 years away from air travel!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Picture prompt above, story below, and I nailed it at 105 words, which is close enough to the designated 100 word limit to get me off the ground and into the air flying, thank you very much!
This is my weekly contribution to the Fabulous Friday Fictioneers and Flying Circus for this Friday, February 8, 2013. Now please click the link and fly on over to the other high flyin' contributors, making sure to bypass any lurking buses.
Man may not have been meant to fly, but he (or she) sure was meant to blog!
That was a twisted, crazy story. You had me going back and forth to be sure I'd gotten it. Nice start to my morning, which is about to get much busier! Thanks for the fun, but slow, ride.
ReplyDeletejanet
Thanks, Janet. Sounds like your morning is nothing like a morning flight!
DeleteOf course there is nothing like a morning flight because there really IS nothing like a morning flight! Now I'm every bit as confused as you were ...
There's a well known budget airline over here in the UK that charge for everything they can possibly think of in order to make a buck. Charge you for checking in, printing out boarding passes, measure your bags to the nth dimension to see if an additional charge can be slapped on. They were even hoping to charge for toilet visits I hear. I hope to God the Chairman of this company isn't reading this or we're all sunk. You should patent this idea - he'll snaffle it.
ReplyDeleteSo original Perry, really funny. How do you do it? Well done.
I hope he does snaffle it because then I can find out what "snaffle" means.
DeleteThanks, Sandra! Hope all is well in the land of Richard III.
wow this is delightfully different. crazy story but of course, you pulled it off.
ReplyDeleteNot me. It's 'The Conspiracy to Make Us Think There are Such Things as Airplanes so They Can Charge Us for Them' that pulled it off.
DeleteI hate to think what the acronym is ...
this may sound like an odd comment but i'm curious as to why you chose philadelphia.
ReplyDeleteI live there, and it saved four words over "The Duchy of Grand Fenwick."
DeleteThis mouse is roaring...with laughter.
DeleteGood one!
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid I'm 200 years away from "Good one!"
DeleteAll I keep doing is imagining how they would have pulled off that atomic bomb at hiroshima if planes were all a hoax... hmmmm... It'll come to me. Very fun read ;)
ReplyDeleteAtomic what?
DeleteGreat story Perry! I loved the twist throughout the whole thing :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Madison! At least nobody's ever got to be afraid of flying anymore ...
DeleteBuses? What's that? We travel by mule down here, but boy you should see the baggage charge they add on. Once, on a flight up to Joplin they stopped twice to change the mule's shoes. What a hoax! Everyone knows they wear army boots-not shoes.
ReplyDeleteI hate to break it to you, Russell, but mule travel is a myth too. And I'm getting sick and tired of pulling that little wagon with you in it all the time!
Deletesometimes I think the bus would be faster!
ReplyDeleteExactly why nobody bothers to invent planes!
DeleteBizarre tale, Perry... I'm guessing it's all about the muffin...
ReplyDeleteI'm sure it was a guy sitting with his muffin and coffee one day not going anywhere who thunk it all up.
DeleteWhat was in that coffee and muffin?
ReplyDeleteI don't know, Shirley, but it caused me to invent air travel. I hope they have one of those places in the bus terminal in Philadelphia!
DeleteGood Job! Enjoyed reading that one.
ReplyDeleteScott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/02/07/3686/
Thanks. Glad you decided to fly me!
DeleteThank you for your lingering LOL.
ReplyDeleteI am starting to think this is all made up!
ReplyDeleteTom
No, Tom, every one of my stories is based on documented fact. Certificates are on file in the office.
DeleteI love it! My kind of story, all the way. :D What do you suppose those guys really look like behind the mask? They are wearing masks, aren't they? Humankind - snort!
ReplyDeleteI would guess they are wearing masks. They'd have to be ugly people to be scamming us like this! Thanks for writing, Debra.
DeleteHah! Science faction. I loved the idea of this, I really thought you were going down the terrorist attack route, so it was a surprise.
ReplyDeleteYes, I could have gone down the old terrorist attack route but then I'd have to heroically rescue everyone, and I was too comfortable with my muffin and coffee. Next time.
Deletea good one:)
ReplyDeleteThanks. I always try to be good.
DeleteDear Perry,
ReplyDeleteDoes this mean that after I read your story I won't remember anything? I once traveled from KC to NYC by bus. I was ten at the time and I still remember feeling hazed by the end of the trip. I think I'll take Russell's mule cart.
Fun story.
Shalom
Rochelle
No, you will remember but you will think it is a work of fiction. Remember all those lousy meals and crying babies you seem to remember from flights past? Dreamed up in the board rooms of "airplane" corporations.
DeleteIn real life, you were in Russell's mule cart.
Dear Perry,
ReplyDeleteMan smart enough to write a twisted tale like you did ough to be able to handle the jump to light speed and WordPress. Get hot while I wade through the BS to tell you I liked your writing this week.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks, Douglas. And about space travel? William Shatner is wholly in charge of the special effects required to make us think there is space travel.
DeleteIn reality, we've never gotten higher than Albany through "space travel."
Love this story - very original - very funny. Just one thing, though - the use of the word 'aeroplanes' - does that mean they were British tricksters? One's not sure one approves...
ReplyDeleteNot British tricksters. Just tricksters using the preferred spelling for the projected flying machines once they are actually built. The rather more brittle term "airplanes" is simply slang of the moment.
ReplyDeleteI loved your spin on this!
ReplyDeleteCould it be true...?
You doubt me? Tell me: ever had any good food on an airplane? Landed on time? Joined the mile high club?
DeleteDon't you think at least one of these things would have happened if there really were such a thing as air travel???
Ah the subterfuge the airlines rain down on us and how we allow it. We are left to curse their ways, but ultimately act as sheep and follow their directions.
ReplyDeleteIf I had thought of that sentence, I could have bagged the whole story!
DeleteTalk about conspiracy... And probably the last time I crossed the atlantic the buses carried me to a giant studio. :-)
ReplyDeleteThe pontoon buses? Oldest trick in the book!
DeleteVery creative take on the prompt. Nicely done
ReplyDeleteThank your, Boomie. And have a nice flight!
DeleteYou are crazy but in a good way.
ReplyDeleteYou can say that again!
DeleteYou are crazy but in a good way.
ReplyDeleteGee, you actually did!
DeleteI agree with both of Beth's comments. Very quirky, great little story.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Glad I made your flight that little bit more comfortable!
Delete